Procrastinating

It's been a while since our last post, and a lot of things have happened since then. Things like work, school, church, kids, swine flu, kids with swine flu.

Good times.
Oh, and we found out that we have been accepted to the Christian Missionary Society for a four year commitment to ministry in Peru!!!! Praise God! We waited for what seemed to be forever. God's timing is perfect and I have no doubts that there is a reason for this lesson in patience. It's just been hard because we are so excited about what He is doing in us.
The strange thing is that now that we are finally cleared, I feel almost paralyzed. We have people to contact, letters to write, things to do on the house, and so many other "details" to attend to. And despite my natural tendency to "get the job done" I find myself procrastinating and struggling.
Many people have warned us that Satan's attacks are strongest when God is moving someone out of complacency and into action. I agree with this, but I really think that right now I am my own worst enemy. I am really struggling with the idea that I am going to be a missionary. I see the sin and hypocrisy in my life. I see my own shortcomings and I want to give up. I wonder many times a day "What am I thinking?" "Why should I think that I am the man for this?" My own resounding answer is always that I am not the man I need to be. That my life is a big lie.
The amazing thing is that my thoughts about myself are true. I am not the man I need to be - on my own strength. God has shown me over and over again this past month that Peru is not about me. It is not about what I can do for Peru mission. It is not about what I cannot do for Peru Mission. It is not about me and my abilities at all. Christ has brought men to His Church in Peru to serve and equip His body there. He is bringing me to Peru to serve His Church as well. This is His ministry through me. My insufficiency only serves to magnify the sufficiency of His grace. Though I procrastinate and struggle, and though I am not the man I need to be, His Will will be accomplished. In spite of me.

"He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. Therefore, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.' " (1 Corinthians 1:30, 31)